:noxious:
You've long since run out of tape and hastily knotted ties
But I can hear you [over the whisper of a muted dial-tone]
scrambling and searching your head desperately
for something to say
Flick the penlight on and off, knowing that somehow
[I would /break down/ in the absence of that sound]
[I told you I didn't want to do it this way
but you've cornered me
sending precognitive SOS into my answering machine]
You raised your voice
as if the exclamation points that you could never muster before
could somehow save you here.
You demanded a reason, another, again
[There were never enough for you
Even though all it takes is the blurred outline of one]
I can feel you breaking down in the vibrations under my skin
[and I hate myself for that]
T h i s i s y o u r u l t i m a t e surrender
[porcupine quills in my esophagus
my lungs are dried up and out
because honey and wine dehydrate and choke me up so subtly]
Constant listless bursting into
realizations of now-ruined plans
[They will write this in your epitath
and years later charge me with murder
For realizing that I couldn't sacrifice my self]
You never saw it coming
But you
are lying to yourself
date:circa late October, 2006
recording:listen
So now you all may be privy to the teensy details of my breaking up with Mr. Bunny-Boy.
I don't know exactly how much sense this makes to someone else, or to someone who has never broken someone else's heart, but to me this is an exact mirror copy of how it was.
An epitaph, by the way, is "a commemorative inscription on a tomb or mortuary monument about the person buried at that site."
The esaphogus is the tube connective your throat to your stomach. Precognitive means realizing or knowing something before it actually happens.