I watched as he approached me, looking for all the world like some sort of flower. Today he was wearing a pleated orange miniskirt, a pink and lime green checkered blouse, and rainbow toe-socks. On top of it, he had a huge smile on his face, and he blushed as he sat down next to me in an almost purposeful way.

I was about to say something, though I don't know what, when I was cut off by a pink daisy suddenly appearing in front of me. I raised my eyebrows at him questioningly, but he only blushed more furiously. Baffled, I took the flower and held it in my lap, watching it silently.

"So, are we dating now or something?" I mused after a few moments of contemplating the wind playing with the fragile thing in my hands.

We both laughed quietly, though he sounded a bit more nervous. I suddenly hoped that he wasn't about to ask me out. He was a nice person, but I just didn't feel comfortable dating anyone at the moment, let alone a boy. Besides, I had just met him yesterday. I froze for a second, pleading silently that he wouldn't- that I wouldn't have to hurt him by turning him down.

Jesse shook his head, still blushing. I let out a sigh of relief.

"No, I just wanted to give you something. Thank you and all, you know?"

"I didn't do very much..." I protested.

"Well, it's not much of a gift, either, now is it?"

I didn't respond; I didn't know how. Somehow his comment didn't seem right. Indeed, it was just a flower that he had picked out of a stranger's garden, but it seemed oddly significant. It was heavy with the sort of things that lovers do for each other. It reeked of her.

"The smallest things are what count the most," I whispered.

"Hm?"

"Nothing." I hadn't intended to say either of those things. The flower, so well in intention, made me feel horrible. I had chased away the constant thoughts of her until now, and now they were stronger than ever. They were echoes of her laugh and how her waist felt under my fingertips, her soft lips and the way she would always say the most soulful things when I least expected it.

"Natalie..." It came out quieter than I had expected, as if I suddenly had something caught between my lungs and my air supply.

Jesse blinked.

I stood up silently and closed my eyes. I felt the wind tickle my hair across my cheeks and into my ears. I felt it dive between the spaces between the threads of my clothes and into my skin. A rush ran over my arms and legs as the inexplicable goosebumps rose on my flesh, hidden though they were.

"I have to go."

I walked away without further explanation, but Jesse didn't seem to need it. My back was turned to him, but somehow I knew that he had nodded and not left his mouth open awaiting an unformed question.

I looked down at my shoes as I walked along the covered walkway. I hadn't planned where I was going, but as I kept walking I knew. To me, this path led only one place.

My fingers moved, taking on a shape that seemed more comfortable. I remembered the spaces where her fingers would slide between mine, and how her rings felt against me.

I came to a grassy courtyard near the back of the school. It was a pleasant space between two of the long buildings with a few trees and wooden benches.

And a girl.

I stopped as I saw her, though I had, in the back of my mind and the depths of my heart, known and hoped that she would be there, just as she was, sitting on the table of the bench with her worn out jeans, her elbows on her knees and her hands clasped loosely in front of them, her hair falling gracefully down and hiding her face.

I suddenly realized that I was walking towards her. I thought to stop myself, but didn't until I was about a meter from her. Her head shifted to look up, but stopped as her gaze came to my shoe. I thought I heard her gasp.

I took a step forward.

She made as if to scoot away, but instead she suddenly looked up at me.

It was my turn to gasp.

Her freckles.

I choked. My eyes were wide and suddenly burning. My knees wobbled and threatened to give way.

Her eyes were shockingly blue. Her eyelashes were dramatically long and skillfully blackened with mascara.

Her freckles.

And then I was on the ground, hard on my knees. My breath was sharp and far too frequent, but I couldn't seem to get any air. The daisy slipped from my fingers and I noticed that my hand had fallen on her thigh.

I sobbed.

She smelled of cigarettes.

I woke up as the bell rang. I made a noise of surprise a bit like a gasp. I stared at the chalkboard with wide eyes, my heart hammering in my chest.

The kids near me laughed vaguely and started making their way to the door.

After a few seconds I calmed down and stood up, shrugging my backpack onto my shoulder. As I slowly made my way through the crowded doorway, I realized that I had no idea how I'd gotten here. I didn't remember any of my first or second periods, or anything at since I had- had I passed out?

"I am seriously not okay."

Reena opened her eyes blearily. Though she couldn't see very well through the sleep and grogginess, not to mention the lack of her glasses, she could make out a coffee table in front of her, littered with three half-empty mugs, various books, magazines, and snacks, and a bottle of Advil lying on its side with the top off.

She groaned.

Rubbing the sleep out of her eye, she contemplated whether the day had been a total waste or not. She had skipped school and done mostly nothing the entire day, but she had read some good books- or at least parts of them. And she had made it through another day of withdrawal.

"Yay for me," she muttered, her voice slightly hoarse. She waved her arms over her head lazily in mock celebration.

Reena sighed.

The phone rang. Right under her ear.

Reena screamed and fell off the couch with a thud that involved the massacre of an empty box of Twinkies and a half-gone bag of Oreos. Grumbling, Reena grabbed the cordless phone, wondering what on Earth is had need doing under her ear to begin with.

"Hello," she muttered in a voice far from chipper or polite.

"Sorry about the Oreos."

Reena sat up, suddenly alert. "Ant!"

The boy on the other line laughed. "So it would seem."

"What... uhm... hi?"

"How are you?"

"Me? I..." Reena looked at the mess around her that she seemed to have officially become part of. "I'm alright."

"You have a strange definition of 'alright'," Anthony sighed. "But, being as you've now read all the books I lent you, I was wondering if you wanted to hit the library? They have a cafe that should help with your headache."

Reena stared at the crumb-ridden couch for a moment. "How did you know I had a headache?"

"Well, withdrawal tends to do that."

Reena frowned. "But how did you know I was in withdrawal?"

"He was an asshole, anyway."

"Eh?" Reena paused in the middle of getting up. "I don't quite understand you. Who was an ass?"

"Brian?"

Reena fell silent. Slowly, she stood up and brushed the crumbs off her pajamas. She contemplated the table for a second and then sat down on the couch.

"I guess he was, wasn't he."

About two hours later, Reena stepped off the public transport bus to the sidewalk in front of Largo library.

Flash, click, whirrwhirr.

Reena raised her eyebrow at the boy standing a few feet to the right with a camera in his hands. He was thin and attractive in a rather bookish way, though with a bit of offbeat charm. He wore a green flannel shirt and a long off-white cotton scarf, jeans, a navy blue beanie, and round purple sunglasses. His dirty-blond hair was fine and cut unevenly, sticking out at odd angles under the hat.

Shaking her head slowly, Reena walked over to him.

"I don't know you," she giggled, mocking irritation and giving the boy a small shove. "I have nothing to do with you. Why do you insist on being so strange?"

Anthony raised his brow, a look of honest, but mild, confusion on his face. "You looked pretty."

Reena blushed, although she knew Anthony was prone to thinking things were beautiful. After fidgeting for a few moments and failing to find anything to say, she started up the walk to the entrance of the library.

She stopped after a few steps to the smell of cigarettes. Turning her head, she immediately found the source- a girl sitting on the brick encompassing one of the raised beds that were planted along the plaza in front of the library. She was fascinating- like a gutter princess or some sort, a beautiful thing surrounded by filth. The girl glared at the air and mashed her cigarette butt into the brick.

"'Nae?" Anthony called, a few steps ahead of where Reena had stopped.